I forgot

After such a long time, here i am typing again to jot the words which are on my mind. Wonder whether it will come out, like how i wanted.

I have been in slump in terms of writing, I was too busy living my life, rushing to get results for my research work.

I was chasing my dream, running after it, to survive in these hectic days of ours, that I almost forgot everything, every small thing that I love doing that make me smile.

Sometimes, I used to think being ambitious is difficult. I contemplate and think to myself, “Why is that I am ambitious, as walking to that path of my dream, is not easy. It’s really difficult, but if I don’t take this path, I won’t be who I am,”. But because of this, i forgot to cherish the journey of my struggle.  The road to success is never an easy one, the hurdles we have to cross with its rocky path is never ending. Despite that we wait to eat the sweet fruit of our hard work, to meet the expectations that we set for ourselves.

But, I was so busy in fulfilling these expectations, rushing to the results that I forgot to live my life. I was so engrossed in complaining about the things not working my way, searching for the negative reasons to self pitied myself that I got the worse scenario of problems.

Even though i laugh, i live,  i sleep, i forgot to focus on really living my life.

I was overloading myself with my own frustrations, that i forgot to realize that everyone in the world has the share of their own problems.By giving the excuse of being a human, I  forced myself to believe that my shares of worries are bigger than everyone else. I was so captivated by my own pain; i forgot to see that even the heavy storm we face now goes away after it rained the whole night.

I was so blinded my own miserable thoughts, that i forgot to be grateful for the wonderful gifts that i have till now.

I forgot to follow my favorite words “ to see the blessings in each small things around us”

Sure, a negative thought, like a rotten apple can harm our thinking and way of life. Now i regret the time i wasted, the words that came out because of my anger, the relationship that I hampered, the people that I hurt and could not give my time in the name of my frustrations and worries.

I regret losing the joy of being grateful for small things; the small happiness that I get when I crossed the road when no vehicle were running on the busy road, the joy of getting an empty bus seat on a crowded bus, when you really need it.

That feeling of excitement when, it drizzles after such a long dry spell of hot summer, the smell of the earth after it rained, the contentment when you found some money on your old jeans. The feeling that each day is a gift to a healthy person as many sick ones are struggling to live one more day, i have forgotten all.

I forgot that I have a child inside me, and I let that child mature into an adult.

I have forgotten that your loved ones are there around you, despite the fact that you are imperfect.  I forgot that I am in someone’s else sincere prayer and they are praying for me.

That your friends are there with you, to helped you to walk down this path of yours.I have forgotten that miracles do exists, despite the complains that i shower upon people.

I have forgotten that each day is a blessing.

Now, i hope i can regain this blessing, with an open heart of being grateful of the fact that I am still pursuing my dream that I am living for.

With the power of faith in my heart now, i want to regain my lost self, to give more love to others.

 To create miracles for others.

And I hope to live like that forever.

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